Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize