If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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