she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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