i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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