oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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