doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
