her vagine was all disorganized.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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