I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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