East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
