so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
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i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
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Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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