Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
