The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
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