Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
