I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
