in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
