who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
