So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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