Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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