Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
