your parents love me but you hate me
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
