I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
