shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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