Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
