**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
