I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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