You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
