Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
