if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
