i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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