all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
