Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Randomize