Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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