Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize