Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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