i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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