Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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