He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
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I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dad took our porno
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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