Whats the glycemic index on semen?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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