Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
