Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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