i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
