Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
