I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
This is the high leading the old right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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