I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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