..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
