you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
