you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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