I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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