Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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