if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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