Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
