No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
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you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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