I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize