I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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