you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
