i already hear my dad disowning me
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
